Log in

No account? Create an account

I return from the Land of RL!

Sound the horns! I am announcing my triumphant return, I have slain the unemployment dragon and emerged out of the hole that I dug myself into. In short, I don't really suck anymore:

So yea, here's the deal, I know I haven't been posting for a while and to be honest that was because I was depressed for a good long time. Not emo depressed mind you, no good ol fashion red blooded American depressed. I had no money, the recession was starting to bare its teeth at any attempts for me to get a job, and I generally felt like sleeping all day was a better alternative than having to deal with the pressure of trying to deal with the depression. For a couple of moments I knew what it was like to live in Post Industrial America during the great stock market crash. It wasn't until the point that I started getting chest pains for whatever reason that I started to kick my own ass into gear, I resorted to begging for gas money, I looked around in newspapers, online and asked shady drug dealers to teach me their ways, I was even considering joining the army for a while just so I could be employed.

Anyway, after all my hard work and tenacity I finally landed myself a job right when the gas prices were starting to go down. (I was actually a little miffed to be paying a little less on gas to go to work.) I got a job at EDS, don't ask me what they stand for I still don't know, basically though its a giant outsourced Customer Service company. Rather than paying employees directly some companies prefer to set up a contract with EDS who does the customer service for them. On our site we have Proactiv Solution, HP, Everest Funeral Homes, Mers, and some Navy type project that I don't ask about cause its on the other side of a 'wall.' Anyway I'm working with Proactiv Solution as customer service, but if I stick around for a year or two I can end up in a lot of different places beyond talking to snarky customers. I'm actually particularly interested in working with the HP project or even brushing up on IT type stuff and moving over to the IT department. The way the company works practically everyone started off in my seat, working on the phones talking to customers, and while I realize they say that there's advancement in other companies I can really see the opportunity working for this one.

Anyway beyond a job I've had quite a bit going on, I've been talking to a gym about getting a membership and I'm going to tone down my weight quite a bit. Beyond that I'm registered for FC and I've been bookmarking sites for clothes that I would like in the near future. My pay is good enough that I have revenue and if I can save up I'll be able to get a new car late Febuary or early March. Personally I think I might actually wait on that and see about getting one near my birthday so I can totally claim it as my personal Birthday Present. As well I'm planning on scavenging around on Black Friday for various Computer Parts and building myself a new rig in November/December as my Christmas present.

So yea, life is pretty good for me right now and I'm pretty content.

So who missed me?

Birthday FUN! [/sarcasm]

So, the 12th was my birthday, sorry I didn't go on a whole rant about it ahead of time, and if you missed it its not your fault. I just don't really like being assaulted with 'Happy Birthdays' all day, and prefer it when people know about my birthday after my birthday. Though I will admit I have some sick and twisted pleasure in telling them after my birthday and seeing their faces drop like they did something horrible. Anyway I figured I'd talk about how my day went since it was tons of fun.

Anyway I woke up early and my parents were already up cooking breakfast, I'm used to my dad completely forgetting my birthdays, he's an engineer I doubt he can remember his own. But when I get downstairs I'm surprised that my mom doesn't even remember to say happy birthday at first. In fact the second I come down its like "Hey I got leads for new jobs." and I'm thinking 'Thats nice? No day off from going out EVERY FREAKING DAY looking for a job on a Saturday and my birthday?' anyway she's telling me about all these places, half of which I had already applied for, and meanwhile my dad is cooking breakfast. I'm just sitting there trying not to get the 'You're so bad because you haven't found a job' speech and tell her I'd go out after breakfast.

I have a biscuit for breakfast since I'm not really that hungry and go upstairs to take a shower. Cue uneventful shower followed by an uneventful stage of getting dressed and ready to go out. Before I go out though I decide to check my emails and some of the forums I go too, particularly the City of Heroes forums to see what was going on since I was activating my account later in the day. As I'm about to get off my computer I look over my shoulder to where my rat, Roberta, is and see that she's incredibly dirty. Of course I don't wear my glasses when I'm on the computer, so anything more than four feet away is blurry as all get out. After putting on my glasses and checking again I see that its not actually dirt that's on her fur, its blood... Lots of blood.

I didn't necissarily panic, but I did have an OH SHI-! moment rushing over to the cage to see what happened. On the right side of her face there was this flap of skin just hanging there with blood near her eyes, ears, fur, the sides of the cage and generally everywhere like she had been messing with it for a while. Having been in the room only three hours prior I had to assume that she had done all that in three hours. Anyway I take her out of the cage and downstairs, my good shirt and hands getting as bloody as she was in the process. And of course, my parents are gone to do some errands or some such, so I grab the phone getting it bloody in the process and call my mom telling her the rat is bleeding and I'm taking her to the vet to which she informs me that the vet closes at like one o' clock in the afternoon on Saturdays, with the clock saying that it was about twelve. Groaning I hang up the phone and quickly get some flour from the pantry to clot up the wound then stuff the Rat in an old carrier I had and drive like a madman to get to the vet.

I get there relatively fine and as I'm getting out of the car I see a bunch of people at the vet which makes me a bit nervous as to how long I'm going to have to wait with my bleeding rat. I'm sitting in my car having visions of old shows where they would show the hospitals with guys bleeding out the neck, amputated hands, fence posts through their heads and other general mutilations with the nurse crying next to the person with the sniffles. However as I get out of the car with the rat people are stopping me before I get in the vet with stupid questions.

"Hey is that a gerbil? Hamster? Guinnue Pig?" They asked completely oblivious of the fact that I have a bleeding animal in my case.

Rather than being a bitch I decided to answer them calmly with: "No, its a rat."

I answered that question about four times before I actually got into the office, with one more moron asking me the same damn question once inside. Except this one actually cringed when I said it was a rat, like somehow I'm carrying the freaking bubonic plague in my hands. People are so fucking ignorant sometimes, Rats are not dirty creatures, in fact, as long as you keep their enviroment clean Rats are cleaner than Cats and Dogs combined. I've sat and watched my Rat clean herself for hours on end, its seriously like watching a clean freak. As well rats take baths in water if you let them, so the whole stigma of rats being mangy and dirty is just stupid.

Anyway back to the bleeding rat who wasn't looking so clean. I carry her up to the counter, looking like a freaking mass murderer with bloody hands and shirt (I wondered why people were asking me such stupid questions when I was absolutely covered in blood.) and pretty much immedietly get admitted into a room. After a while the vet comes in and checks her out asks me a bunch of questions about how she was reacting (Luckily I had the forethought to test her vision and everything while in the room.) then asks me to hold her while she cleans up the rat. After a thorough cleaning we get some medical glue then seal up the cheak flap, cutting off a bit of dead skin that had lost its nerve endings giving my poor rat a nasty scar and I go home bloody and tired at one thirty in the afternoon.

The rest of the day went pretty okay, I had a couple of martinis and my mom made a bitching cake. So the end of the day was pretty good, just had to deal with my rat and stupid people.

I'm never going to forget looking like a mass murderer and people asking me the species of my pet, priceless stupidity.

Brawl: Friend Code + Small Review

EDIT: Apperently I'm dyslexic, the code has changed for those of you that added me earlier.

Time again for me to post useless crap which will ultimately remain unread by the general public. Freaking lazy readers.

Anway before I go off on my long rant about Brawl, I have decided to post my Friend Code first so people can all be like... Wassup Kanji wanna play? And I'll be like 'Hellz yea mutha fuckah.'

Here it is in all its numeric glory:


Anyway onto the Review, you can just skip this part if you want.

I preordered the game sometime in October I believe, thinking that the game was going to be released during the Christmas break, of course that would have been logical considering it was practically done by that time. However it was not meant to be, I guess when you're toting around a title like Super Smash Brothers you can afford to stall the game for 'finishing' as long as you need. Hell I suspect if they had stalled for another year they would still have around the same hype for the damn game. So anyway we went through about three delays, its not a big deal. I probably would have forgotten about it completely if I hadn't been reminded by every living soul on the planet that it was coming out on the ninth.

So I picked up the game at midnight and started playing immedietly, if you're planning on using the Wii Remote I would suggest using training mode for a while on both the Nunchuck-Remote and Remote control styles. Both are pretty hard to get a feel for in the middle of the fray of battle, the remote just has a goofy control scheme in general, and the remote-nunchuck combo is like playing Zelda, Rayman: Raving Rabbits, and Wario Ware all together. I haven't gotten the Classic Wii controller so I don't know what its like, but I do have about fifty gamecube controllers lying around so I went to that because... Well... Five years of experiance with the Gamecube controller has to amount to something. As expected the game plays just like Super Smash Brothers, alot of the characters got their stats changed around a bit, for instance, Ganondorf seems alot slower and alot mor sturdy, where as marth had his speed and jumping cut down a little bit but his attack power seems a bit higher, plus his special moves are alot smoother. (His side b move seems alot more devestating, and his final smash is just fucking nuts.)

Anyway, onto the new characters I like. I seem to be in the minority with some of my friends, my new favorite character is Ike. Everyone seems to think he's slow, I mean sure he's not as fast as Marth or Roy who he seems to be replacing. But he's alot more sturdy than Roy ever was, plus his attack power is like two times better than Roys. Its not hard for me to knock someone off screen with just Ike's regular attacks. It might be harder for him to get to his enemies, but he's got fucking fantastic attacks. Speaking of which his attack scheme is fairly different from Marth. Sure he has counter, but thats kind of a standard for the Fire Emblem characters I think.

However his other three moves are alot different, two of which are charge up moves. I'm ashamed to admit that yes, his regular charge move does in fact do 10% damage to him at full charge like Roy. However unlike Roy, even without full charge its a really effective move, launching people into the air, and paired with his side B move which charges to do a charging slash that also launches people its, easy to send people skyward when they reach the ground.

I don't know where I'm going with this, so I'm cutting it. I like Ike, that is all.

Happy VD Day

Sup Kids, enjoy your VD.

I'm waiting for tomorrow personally, CHEAP CHOCOLATE DAY! Yayyyy!

*Flails arms around like a muppet.*
Before I begin, I'd like to say I had fun at the con, and that if I had to do it all over again I would. I met a lot of people that I hadn't met before but known about for a while, I met people I had met before and had fun with them like old friends should, and I met new people who will be ingrained into happy memories for quite some time to come. There were tons of good and embarrassing times to be had by all and it seemed like the laughter wouldn't end.

Though admittedly there was Drama, as there seems to always be at furry conventions of any size. I won't get into it because I'm not very apt to cause drama myself, needless to say I escaped most of it somewhat unscathed. Its also nice to be going back home knowing that I have a home to go back too. Though admittedly there were a couple instances when I thought that I might be turned over in a ditch on the drive to Oregon, it was windy and snowy and my little teeny car isn't all that good at handling winter conditions.

However I made it to Ashland Oregon fine and I'm staying with Drakon and Savory for the night before I hit the road early tomorrow morning and hopefully don't hit any passes that are snowed in. To be honest I'm not as worried about hitting snow as I am my car just not making the trip, though admittedly its been running a lot better since me and Drakon did some minor tune ups. It even made it from Idaho to California relatively unchanged, which I'm still amazed about.

So much thanks to Drakon for the help on the car.

I'd also like to report before ANY rumors get out, that:

1) I did not wear a diaper to the con, any photos are conspiracies against me to defame my image.

2) I did not get spanked. I simply was not. I was good and innocent and sweet for the entire con unlike other cub type furries who were very naughty.


Also since I'm at it I've been thinking about the babyfur community as far as cons go. I don't readily admit it, but last year at FC I was kind of disgusted by the Diapers that were left all over the floor in the bathroom. Now I'm not really the type of person to raise a fuss, and I understand that they need to be put somewhere, but it just seems to me like they didn't even care to put them in a trash bag or something of that nature. I was reminded of my thoughts of this because of this years various babyfur rooms at the con.

There were about three different unofficial cliques of babyfurs that hung around the con. I had heard that one of the rooms was very smelly, like people could smell it on the floor that they were on. And it kind of reminded me of last year in that the room didn't smell very good from the inside. I've kind of gotten to the point where I say that anyone in my room has to grab a trash bag or a bag in general and wrap the diaper up then toss it somewhere.

I'm not at all opposed to wearing diapers at a con, I just wish that people would be responsible for their own diapers for the WHOLE con, not just when its wrapped around your waste. If you've got no reservations about wearing in public, then you shouldn't have any reservations about going to throw it away. Its just lazy and unsanitary to keep diapers around your room, especially if you're room is constantly occupied barring room service from entering.

As well, this seems like joining a rallying cry of sorts, but I feel it needs to be said. As the furry community has been growing there have been has been a slight skew in the differential of gender. So we're starting to see more biological female furries in not only the babyfur subgroup bu the furry fandom in general. I've related some concerns to some of my female friends and they seem to feel that the male side of the fandom doesn't really take females as a whole into consideration when they do things. Case in point changing diapers in front of others. As exhilarating as it might be for some people, girls tend to find it a bit awkward to stand around while two other babyfurs change each other. I'm not even a natural female and I feel like its a bit on the irk side.

Discretion is all I'm crying about really. We need to watch ourselves because we're not as globally accepted as other sub-cultures in the community. Even just being a cub or a little fur is often looked down upon. Hell, ageplay outside of the furry community has been a hot button for a lot of groups, Second Life being a popular example. I'm not saying hide your babyfur side, far from it, be proud of it, and nurture it like you usually would.

Just be grown up enough to pick up your toys when you're done with them, thats all.


Hey guys, I'm not dead yet... Go figure.

Alright so FC is rollin on up so I figured I'd share with you my complicated plans for worl- I mean my plans for FC. Why would I be planning world domination? Thats just silly. You're silly.

Moving on!

Step 1)
At O'Twelve hundred hours Kanji (Now codenamed Semi-solid Pyro) will be requisitioning a inconspicuous mass distance travelling device, affectionately named 'her crappy car' for this military demonstration. With her crappy car she will travel up the snake river on the freeway inconspicuously to converge onto waypoint one at approximately 0'Six hundred hours. There she will meet up with the first contact (Now codenamed Icky Yucky Foxkitty.) who will then say the secret codephrase to allow Semi-soli Pyro to infiltrate her convoy.

Step 2)
At this juncture Icky Yucky Foxkitty will take over the mission, requisitioning a new mode of transportation moving south through the Orgeon Wilderness. The name of the location has been withheld for security reasons. However once the team arrives they will meet up with a further team consisting of a proper convoy. Joining up with that convoy they will all make their way down to the home point (Now codenamed FC or Furrypalooza.)

Step 3)
Semi-solid Pyro will be staying at the Holiday inn with five other soldiers. Should their mission be compromised they have all carried with them a very rotten egg sandwhich (Damn military budget.) Which they will consume immedietly in order to hopefully seal their fates and the secret mission in which they are participating in.

Okay I'm done with the wierdo military thing.

I'm staying at the Holiday Inn, so I don't think anyone is gonna wanna visit our room. At any rate I'm staying with Drakon, Savory, Sabv, Kayla, and Kae. I'll be hiding most of the time though because there's a conspiricy against me currently in which about four or five people are planning on demeaning me and ripping my natural cool-factor away from me with evil and dastardly plots. So if you see me and you empathize with my cause I suggest... Leaving a smoke trail or something so I don't get captured.

I'm serious, its horrible... Some involves diapers, some involves diaper powder... And some still involves. *Shudders* Pink.

So yea... I'll be at the con, but I shall be silent and stealth like the wary ninja.

So its been a while since I posted, which isn't really that amazing, I've been busy as of late so there hasn't really been much time in my busy schedule to post. I guess the first thing I need to say is that I lost my job at the bakery late in October, suffice to say that coming in on time and wanting to do the work without question or complaint isn't enough when working on a tight schedule alone. Its not really a big deal, I've pretty much already got a job lined up for Tuesday at ToysRUs, pending a background check that I'm sure will pass. And I'll still be going to FC in 08, staying with Relena and visiting around, though I'm not sure if I'll hang around the Cub House much, I'm still rather scarred by the diapers piled in the bathroom from last year. It wasn't enough to make me angry, there's not much that is, but it was enough to creep me out a little bit.

I'll be starting college in April finally, I think I'm going to go for a degree in English and get my credentials for teaching. As much as I hate kids and teenagers I really think I'm the type of person that would be a good teacher. It really wasn't me who saw it that way at first, I've just been recently thinking about myself as a person, trying to expand and become a better on a social level. Talking with friends and family I've heard hints dropped that I would be good at teaching, and when I think about it, it really does make sense that I would be the teaching type. I mean I may not be the smartest person in the world, and lets face it, not many teachers are. But I can think on my feet, and empathize with people, and I know how to poke and prod people in different ways effectively. Being a teacher isn't about knowing everything, its really about leading students to learn for themselves, and as long as I get that I think I can make it.

Drama-wise life has been pretty interesting these last few months, the loss of the job kinda signaled the dip into decline. After that my brother moved out of the house and I'm feeling pretty mixed up about that, I don't think he's really ready to leave, but who am I to try to stop someone from self destructing when I myself am prone to going up in a puff of smoke. After the loss of my job, my father called me a martyr, the type of person who's constantly trying to prove him/herself to others by making sacrifices, the kind of person who waves their arms eccstatically and says 'what can I do to make you love me.' He says I can't accept that people just love me for who I am and that it hurts them when I try to keep proving that they should love me. In a way I guess it makes sense, I really am the type of person that can't bring myself to let things be, I always felt like I might be doing something wrong.

Totally freaking neurotic.

On top of that I wrecked my moms truck kinda, the truck idled into a tree when I left in in idle in a parking lot. So the doorframe popped off track and now the drivers side door doesn't open. So my parents got mad and I gotta pay the premium, which I don't mind, it was my fault after all. Then recently somebody decided to walk around under the guise of Relena on secondlife and of course tons of people start blaming me because I don't actively support the way Relena runs the sim. I'm starting to just think that I should just admit to something I didn't do so I can at least know what people really think of me rather than having to live with them talking behind my back. I mean sure I'm not the most likeable person in the community, but I generally care about what happens and don't try to defame anyone behind their back.

It really won't matter how much I deny it, the stones already been cast and I'm gonna be the one taking the flak for it from people for a long time. I realize that it hurt Relenas feelings, but really everyone goes to support her and thats all well and good, Relena is the kind of person who needs other people to remind her that she's got stregnth to walk. I just feel like she hasn't been defamed nearly as much as I have because there's always going to be that hanging doubt in peoples minds as long as the true identity of the person isn't known. And knowing how neurotic I am, its just going to eat at me to know that that hanging doubt is there.

I'm really not a bad person, I'm not. I've never ever made it my goal to make someone hurt. I've always defended my friends and my family. I may operate on a different wavelegnth than others, but thats just how I was raised. My mom asks me how often I was dropped on my head, my dad makes fun of me for dying my hair blonde. So its natural that I'm the type of person thats going to poke and prod at others for the fun of it. Its true I got mad at Relena once, but that was a long time ago, and I don't hold grudges.

God I hate Drama.


Celebrating my pyroness in a colorfully cute badge:

In Need of a Psychocococologist

I think I want to go see a psychocologist, mostly about being transgender but a couple of other issues as well. *koff*Sexuality*koff*

Thing is since I live in Idaho which is now the Transgender hate center of the world because of that fuckface prisoner who had hormone treatment on other peoples money, I'm not really going put in the word 'transgender.' Actually its more of an experiment on my part than anything else, because I already know how I feel as a person, I'm just wondering if I can get a psycologist to come to the same conclusion by how I feel rather than me telling him what I already know. I also don't really feel that great, because everyone around me who's my age in Idaho is either in a fierce relationship or married, its like I'm the only one in the world who seems content in not boning someone on a regular basis.

I'm basically going to say that I hate my body, but not who I am on the inside. That I like being a caring, smart, witty person who likes doing creative things. However what I don't like is the fact that I have a penis, I don't like waking up and having to deal with uncomfortable positions. I hate being a hairy clumsy behemoth, and I hate being expected to be the stronger sex, because I'm not, I don't feel that way. I mean I seriously have tried, I've tried getting on with girls as a male and I felt nothing toward any of them, the only reason I even like girls is because I really envy them. But I've never ever met a girl that set my heart and my other heart aflutter and I've met tons of what most people would consider bombshells. I only ever met two girls that I ever thought I liked, and they weren't really the girly girls. One was in Junior Highschool and I hung around with her and thought maybe I liked her in that way because she was smart and funny and had a great personality and we talked on a level that I hadn't talked to anyone else before. The other was in my first year of highschool and she was a indie chick, she didn't like any of the school heirarchy and she was also very smart.

Anymore though I just feel like girls are a waste of time, I feel like anyone is a waste of time. I just kind of feel like I've entered a sexually neutral place anymore, knowing what I like in people but unable to really get out there and persuit it. I end up really feeling this way because when I'm alone I can be myself, but when I have to interact on that level I have to put on more of an act than I'm used too. The only problem is I'm freaking scared of doing anything about it, I live in an area where the majority of people would rather see me suffer than admit that maybe just maybe I have a real problem. I mean shit, the gay community is pratically nill around here, there is ONE gay bar in Idaho Falls, I have not heard of any others in all of Idaho.

I don't even really want to be a flaming gay or transgender, I hate that people have hidden so long in the closet that they feel its necessary to make it their WHOLE life that they're gay or whatever. Its the same thing as, and not to be totally racist here, black people that make being black the center of their whole life, blaming the white man for everything and unwilling to call themselves racist for it. Its the same thing as girls who sell themselves for sex and then make it obvious that their sluts. Its the same as religious fogeys that exult their gods name in everything they do right down to the bumperstickers on their car (Which according to the Bible that I've read isn't as close a walk with god as someone who exults god in everything they do but not to everyone else.) If you're gay and you want a rolemodel, look at Elton John, you'd barely know he was gay otherwise when you see him in interviews, because he doesn't make it such an integral part of his everyday life.

I mean sure I want to be a girl, and here comes the hypocrisy, I want people to know me as a girl. But I don't want to shove it in everyones face every living moment of every day, I want to be known as the same person I am on the inside now, just with a different coat of paint.

I'm seriously going to cut off my penis and join a monestary...

Eleven More Days!


Yay! Flail like a muppet only 11 more days, what crap is Hiro involved in this time? Did Peter survive? What about Nathen? Who is 'He who watches?' What part is Skylar going to play in all this? Who are the new Heroes?

And for those of you who read the comics online:

What about Wireless? Is she going to mentor young Hawkins?

I'm so excited!

Like really excited...